Journalingo

A Word of Advice....
Presidential candidate and iced coffee drinker Fiona Walsh says she has some words of advice for newly released heiress Paris Hilton. "Miss Hilton says she reads the Bible and that she is going to go to mass. Two things first of Catholics don't read the Bible, its a well known fact. If there's a Bible in a Catholic household, it's covered with dust or is propping up a shelf somewhere in the house. Secondly, Catholics wear underwear. You can't be trooping up the aisle Miss Paris with ne'er a knickers on ya! You'll perish for starters in the chilly, dank air of a church and secondly you can't be titillating parishoners when bending or kneeling for the holy parts. It would be a scandal (another one) the Catholic Church can't afford. That's all I have to say really. Oh! And when are you bringing out your new line of fragrance? I have tentative title suggestion 'Skanky JailBird' - don't ya just love it?"