Friday, November 18, 2005

Robertson condemns Walsh's home town.
Presidential hopeful, Fiona Walsh is said to have the daggers out for Pat Robertson after it was said that he publicly denounced her home town of Roscrea, in Ireland. "I'm just ready to spit!" said the perplexed Walsh. "How in the name of God and all that's holy can he rant and rave about a town that never did anything to him? It's just a bit too much. I know we've mostly stopped going to mass in Roscrea and we have a bigger drug problem now than ever. People are fornicating in public and to be honest it's a bit like Sodom on a Saturday night but what right does Pat Robertson have to point the finger? Let him point the finger at American towns and places first." When it was pointed out that Robertson has already pointed the finger at Dover in PA, Walsh was shocked. "I'm shocked but at the same time, that's more in his line to be going after his own towns instead of ones he's never visited and has no plans to visit. He'll get no thousand welcomes in Roscrea if he visits. We're known for giving people the cold shoulder if we don't like you and begob - it'll be right frosty for him if he does decide to land in any religiously-inspired sort of vehicular machine or holy helicopter." Robertson would not comment publicly but in a private statment was said to be deep in prayer for the lost soul and damaged mind of Ms. Walsh.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Massive Black Hole is a Swizz!
So says amateur quantum physics expert and occasional blogger (and presidential candidate) Fiona Walsh. "It's all a load of balderdash. Anyone with half a brain knows that Einsteins theory of relativity or E=MC2 while initially seeming to support the theory of black holes, actually upon closer examination and a few simply quantum physical equations leads one to the conclusion that black holes are the random ponderings of sci-fi lunatics. The whole notion that black holes generate enough gravity so that not even light can escape them can be disproven with a simple piece of algebra. Instead of a+b to the power of 10 times xy/9 (c2)=6 to the power of 1,which is how one 'theorist' arrived at the black hole gravity 'behavior', if one substitutes x/33-10, well it becomes blatantly obvious that black holes are nothing but the inane ramblings of stoner trekkies! In fact it's so obvious that any fool with a passing math grade could figure it out. Why I'm not working for NASA I don't know! Again, I don't want to throw down the "racist" card but how many Irish astronauts do you know??"
Stephen Hawking was heard to laugh out loud (albeit synthetically) when he heard Walsh's theory on black holes but said their might be something to her "Irish astronaut" theory.

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