Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Walsh in bid to make TV news "more interesting"
Fiona Walsh, obnoxious office worker and presidential wannabe has mounted a campaign to "take the trash off TV". "That's right", said the snuffly-nosed nudger. "I feel there is way too much truth and exposays of government corruption, life and death euthanasia issues, covering of genocides and wars in far off lands, reports from earthquakes and tsunamis, the plight of impoverished and starving people. I say let's bring back the titillation to television. Let's have just a smidge more talk about Britney Spears belly bulge or Angelina Jolies pillowy lips (homewrecker!) and let's not forget J.Lo. She's sorely neglected on television these days, now that she and Ben have parted ways. Journalists should be making efforts to cover her every move, fart, visit to the doctor, whatever that woman does. It's always headline-making and way more interesting than say castrations in the Sudan". Cattle-prodded for more information about how she'd bring about this catclysmic change to our current viewing standards, Walsh went on to say "I have a call in now to Rupert Murdock. We've got to start with Fox 5 News. They are way too serious in the morning. Covering subway derailments and car crashes or God forbid tornadoes in Tulsa - they need to be doing more fluff pieces, like where to get the best bikini wax above 125th Street -stuff like that. Give the viewers what the want!!"

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