Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Katie and Tom...it's for real!
So says prez cand and of work(er) Fiona Walsh. "I know" says the highly allergic typist "Tom told me last week himself". Walsh goes on to say - "I was in the middle of dyeing my hair (touching up the roots to be exact - I'm not a natural blonde, phnarr, phnarr! and the next thing the phone rang. Well who was it only Tommy C himself. So says I, what are you doing calling of a Thursday night - I thought you'd be in the middle of a audit session (I'm always teasing him about Scientology!) and he says "Fiona, I'm in love". Who with? says I. "Katie Holmes" says he - "She's the love of my life. I just met her like 5 minutes ago but I know I want her to be the mother of my next set of adopted children. I think I'll go Asian this time, just to mix it up a bit plus I think Katie has some chinese blood somewhere in her family (her eyes are quite narrow) - it will be awesome - says he, pumping his wrists or thumping his chest, I can't remember! Well says I, I'm delighted Tom. You've been on the shelf far too long now - sure God, you haven't been out in a whole month except for a few visits to the Celebrity Center (that's a gas place altogether by the way, all the celebrities sitting around eating milk and cookies and taking vitamins - great craic!). So good luck to you I said but I have to go Tom, says I, the L'oreal cream is dripping in me eyes! Oh he laughed then. "Oaahh! Love ya man" and he hung up. Isn't he a gas ticket??"
Cruises camp confirmed the phone call. But wouldn't say to whom it was placed.

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