Thursday, December 01, 2005

Walsh sporting a "knuckle-buckling" rock!
That's right. Fiona Walsh, overwrought Irish woman and highly strung unemployed person is wearing a big ring. "I woke up this morning and I thought 'what would I wear that would brighten my day and those of the people I encounter? I know, I'll wear a big ring, a knuckle-duster". Walsh, who is famously known amongst her close friends for her delight in all things glittery said the ring is priceless. "It's priceless, not fiscally but emotionally. I got it from a Lucky Bag when I was a kid. It's bright green and I wore it faithfully for years on St.Patricks Days as I tootled my recorder in the pouring rain in the parade. But after years of service I retired it in favor of a one I bought at Glitzi Bitz. Now, however, I'm delighted to report that it's back on my index finger and looking better than ever!". Next post: Walsh's "gastronomic adventures!".

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Walsh to be "gaydar" for Church
Fiona Walsh, out of work dogsbody and presidential candidate said she has been officially appointed as a secret spy for the Catholic Church. "I will be the 'gaydar' of the Vatican - I'm delighted!". Walsh, not a practicising homosexual, is said to have been appointed to the post after the official ban on gays in the priesthood. "The Church said that no fella with any sort of inclination towards men will be allowed to be ordained a priest, but how can they know? It's not like someone can tick a big pink triangle on the priest application form? So I volunteered my services. I will secrete myself in gay bars and known homosexual haunts. I will keep an eye out for any men with priestly tendencies, those perhaps with a leaning towards hearing confessions in dark corners. Then when the time is right, I will see if there's any ould gay carryon. If there is, I will write their name in my notebook (I hope they give me their right names?) and report back to Pope Benedict. That way, he can be sure that no closet fags get into the church". When probed for how she would plan to keep a watchful eye out for gaylike activity Walsh would only comment "I'm already a fag hag so I'll have no bother there! I'm "in the club" so to speak. I just hope I won't have any problems with my buddies. But I don't think so- none of them want to be priests so they'll continue to have - pardon my French, a gay old time!" Pope Benedict would not respond to the news of the appointment.

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