Saturday, January 17, 2004

Cage tipped for Wonka remake!
In a surprise revelation from Walsh, the hopeful presidential candidate and kiddies TV worker bee, she claims she'd nominate Nicholas Cage for a "Willy Wonka" remake.
"I saw the movie "Adaptation" and I said to meself, 'Jaysis he's a dead ringer for Gene Wilder in 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'. If they ever decide to remake that movie that's who I'd pick to play the role of Wonka". Pressed on whether she had actually made that suggestion to the "Wild at Heart" star, Walsh claimed, "Well I sent him a fax and just for fun I put a picture of Gene Wilder side by side with a picture of himself and captioned it "Separated at Birth?!". I hope he got the joke! I love that movie. It captures all the warmth and imagination and sweetness of childhood. I think Nic would be a great in the role of the chocolate-driven star!". We tried to reach the Coppola/Cage/Presley compound for comment but were stopped in our tracks by a restraining order.

Friday, January 16, 2004

I got an invite!
So says ex-gubernatorial candidate Fiona Walsh in reference to Michael Jackson's party at "Neverland". "Actually, he called me about it a few days ago so I knew about it way before everyone else" says the roots-baring office worker. "It was supposed to be a low key affair for family and friends but Michael is just such a generous guy, he invited half the world". Searched for answers on what was served at the party, Walsh continued, "Well Mike knows I'm a vegetarian so he had some veggie bacon and tofu scramble laid on for me but there was a huge banquet table with eggs, crispy wontons, soup, salads, the whole nine yards. In a typical display of his wacky sense of humor, Mike even had cookies baked in the shape of handcuffs! I laughed out loud when I saw that one! He's a riot. And let me tell you something, he's no kiddie-fiddler".

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