Journalingo

Adult Diapers -not just for astronauts!

Fiona Walsh, presidential candidate and news watcher has come out in favor of adult diapers. "Let's face it folks, adult diapers are not just for ex-astronauts on cross country murder sprees, they're for everyone". Despite the 'bad rap' that adult diapers received in the news recently, Walsh claims they are useful. "Look, I don't wear them myself (yet) but I applaud the makers of the nifty nappies. I can see where they might have a million uses for those bladder-challenged individuals". Walsh went onto wax lyrical about the purposeful pee-catchers. "I never saw an adult diaper til I came to this country - never! I was amazed at the variety of brands! I guess people are just wetting themselves more often in the U.S than in Ireland. What a conundrum!"

Walsh offers buddy Cruise dance lessons.

Following their failed attempts at coupledom at last weekends Superbowl, Fiona Walsh, Irish stepdancer, bodypopper and presidential candidate has offered the comely Cruise some dance lessons. "I'm just putting it out there. It's up to him to take up the offer. I'd like nothing more than to show him how to do a two hand reel or the snake or how not to look completely awkward with a woman who is your wife. It's very easy but for one such as Tom, it might require a bit of effort. After all its ages since he's been married and we all know women can be tricky, right Tom?! And if Katie wants to join in sure no harm. I'm sure being a good Catholic she knows how to waltz but the samba or Latin rhythms continue to evade her. It might help her loosen up a bit if she had me to show her the ropes, so to speak". The couple are said to be 'entertaining' Walsh's offer.