Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Walsh is easily shocked.
In a shocking thought that has just occurred to her, Fiona Walsh temp and gubernatorial candidate has gone from being "moderately disgruntled" to "incredibly pissed" concerning her current employment. "Here I was", says she, "happy as Larry (although is Larry ever really happy?; when was the last time we checked in with him to see if he was content?) thinking to ride out this grand little number til Xmas. Turns out, I might be gettin' the boot!" gasped the curly-toed, newly-blonded, Irish woman. "It just goes to show - you never know when the low blow is coming, got to stay on yer toes in any industry including the "electrifying" world of children's entertainment." Faced with the possibility of financing her gubernatorial campaign with money from "under the mattress", Walsh is remaining optimistic. "I'm optimistic!", said the flighty "colleen". "As me mother is often fond of quoting - "Something is bound to turn up" -(Mr. Macawber from Dickens)". However when we came across Walsh an hour after this interview, she was found curled up under her desk in a fetal position, sucking her thumb and flicking through her filofax for old temp agency numbers. Tune in soon for up to date info
In a shocking thought that has just occurred to her, Fiona Walsh temp and gubernatorial candidate has gone from being "moderately disgruntled" to "incredibly pissed" concerning her current employment. "Here I was", says she, "happy as Larry (although is Larry ever really happy?; when was the last time we checked in with him to see if he was content?) thinking to ride out this grand little number til Xmas. Turns out, I might be gettin' the boot!" gasped the curly-toed, newly-blonded, Irish woman. "It just goes to show - you never know when the low blow is coming, got to stay on yer toes in any industry including the "electrifying" world of children's entertainment." Faced with the possibility of financing her gubernatorial campaign with money from "under the mattress", Walsh is remaining optimistic. "I'm optimistic!", said the flighty "colleen". "As me mother is often fond of quoting - "Something is bound to turn up" -(Mr. Macawber from Dickens)". However when we came across Walsh an hour after this interview, she was found curled up under her desk in a fetal position, sucking her thumb and flicking through her filofax for old temp agency numbers. Tune in soon for up to date info
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
"I'm fed up!"
Tired of her "titillating" temp spot, gubernatorial candidate and half-wit, Fiona Walsh has said she's fed up. "I don't know what's wrong with me - I'm just fed up". Following her recent excitement over her gubernatorial status and coming on the heels of links with Hollywoods top primo steak boys, Farrell and Rush, Walsh said she's no longer thrilled. "I'm just not thrilled anymore. I can't remember the last time I had a good thrill actually. Maybe it was the "Largest Mobile Roller Coaster" ride in Tramore in the early 1980's - now that was a thrill". She drifted off into a reverie concerning the small southern coastal hotspot on the Irish riviera known as Waterford. "An auld firedrill now, that could brighten my day", snapped Walsh.
Tired of her "titillating" temp spot, gubernatorial candidate and half-wit, Fiona Walsh has said she's fed up. "I don't know what's wrong with me - I'm just fed up". Following her recent excitement over her gubernatorial status and coming on the heels of links with Hollywoods top primo steak boys, Farrell and Rush, Walsh said she's no longer thrilled. "I'm just not thrilled anymore. I can't remember the last time I had a good thrill actually. Maybe it was the "Largest Mobile Roller Coaster" ride in Tramore in the early 1980's - now that was a thrill". She drifted off into a reverie concerning the small southern coastal hotspot on the Irish riviera known as Waterford. "An auld firedrill now, that could brighten my day", snapped Walsh.
Monday, August 25, 2003
New airline policy!
Gubernatorial candidate and pissed off TV temp Fiona Walsh, has said she will institute a new airline policy if elected. "Never mind the security screening, what we need is a "no-toddlers on board" flights. I'm sick of having my G&T, sitting back with my flight socks and waiting with relish for whatever crap the inflight entertainment is and then having a child wail right in my ear - it's truly awful". Walsh said she would ensure certain flights were 'toddler free'. "Listen, I'd pay the extra $10 or $159.99 to have a tot free trip" claimed Walsh. "I'm sure people who have babies would rather be on flights with other parents so they can exchange tips on diaper changing, nature versus nuture and other child related thingys. They certainly don't want irate customers like me getting upset and sitting on their repressed rage on long transatlantic flights or worse still sticking their foot out while their toddler runs by and tripping them up". Walsh quickly added "But don't get me wrong - I like children - I just couldn't eat a whole one!" she quickly quipped.
Gubernatorial candidate and pissed off TV temp Fiona Walsh, has said she will institute a new airline policy if elected. "Never mind the security screening, what we need is a "no-toddlers on board" flights. I'm sick of having my G&T, sitting back with my flight socks and waiting with relish for whatever crap the inflight entertainment is and then having a child wail right in my ear - it's truly awful". Walsh said she would ensure certain flights were 'toddler free'. "Listen, I'd pay the extra $10 or $159.99 to have a tot free trip" claimed Walsh. "I'm sure people who have babies would rather be on flights with other parents so they can exchange tips on diaper changing, nature versus nuture and other child related thingys. They certainly don't want irate customers like me getting upset and sitting on their repressed rage on long transatlantic flights or worse still sticking their foot out while their toddler runs by and tripping them up". Walsh quickly added "But don't get me wrong - I like children - I just couldn't eat a whole one!" she quickly quipped.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
Walsh in move to ban tourists!
In a controversial move, the mildly annoyed 'children's' television employee Fiona Walsh said she planned to ban slow moving tourists from the Times Square and Theater districts in NYC. "I intend to do this whether I'm elected governor or not". Walsh went on to explain, "It's ridiculous - I was stuck behind this couple from Arkansas or somewhere down there for a whole minute while they sauntered along 45th Street. As they were both "broad in the beam" I couldn't get by on either their left or right side. Plus I had to endure their banal conversation on the merits of The Olive Garden versus Charley O's for dinner. It was horrible". Fueled by the positive response she has gotten to her "Gluteus Indicators", the curiously bothered Walsh emphasised that this event would be phased in slowly over a period of weeks - "so as not to alarm city residents". We asked Walsh if she considered the repercussions on businesses and theaters in the city if her ban went into effect. "Indeed I have" she retorted. "But if theaters are so concerned about traffic, then they need to tell people (tourists) visiting their theaters to hurry the f**k along". Broadway is supposedly considering a formal response to the Walsh plan.
In a controversial move, the mildly annoyed 'children's' television employee Fiona Walsh said she planned to ban slow moving tourists from the Times Square and Theater districts in NYC. "I intend to do this whether I'm elected governor or not". Walsh went on to explain, "It's ridiculous - I was stuck behind this couple from Arkansas or somewhere down there for a whole minute while they sauntered along 45th Street. As they were both "broad in the beam" I couldn't get by on either their left or right side. Plus I had to endure their banal conversation on the merits of The Olive Garden versus Charley O's for dinner. It was horrible". Fueled by the positive response she has gotten to her "Gluteus Indicators", the curiously bothered Walsh emphasised that this event would be phased in slowly over a period of weeks - "so as not to alarm city residents". We asked Walsh if she considered the repercussions on businesses and theaters in the city if her ban went into effect. "Indeed I have" she retorted. "But if theaters are so concerned about traffic, then they need to tell people (tourists) visiting their theaters to hurry the f**k along". Broadway is supposedly considering a formal response to the Walsh plan.
